until the end of time
by CherryxDarling
Summary: Drabble8: Although she was throwing away her mortality and changing forever, one thing would remain the same. Nice and fluffy. BxE. Series of drabbles.
1. Transition

**Right now, my muse consists of nacho cheese doritos, kiwi-strawberry Propel fit water, and a Sarah Dessen book. I'm armed and ready to go.**

**Try not to be too harsh, because this is my first time dabbling in the art of Stephenie Meyer, and ****I own none of it.**

**That said, constructive criticism is appreciated, along with any comments, questions, or concerns. No flames, please. **

**_Transition_**

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Out of the corner of my eye, through the curtain of my hair, I peaked warily at the engima beside me. He was less tense than usual, but that didn't stop me from being cautious. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, even though he wasn't clutching the table in a death grip or glaring at me.

I just knew that this Edward guy - whoever he was - was _not_ normal.

I didn't know what I did to deserve this kind of treatment, from this total stranger. I didn't expect anything wild or crazy to happen, especially in the tiny town of Forks. I would be completely and totally content with a normal class, with a normal teacher, normal classmates. I didn't need someone who sat beside me that obviously didn't want to...and then the next day acting (almost) normal.

And most of all, why me? From what I saw, no one else got the same treatment. The stares from him and his family across the cafeteria, the tenseness and strange behavior during class, the watchful eyes that I could never seem to escape...

I didn't know what he wanted. I didn't know why _I_ was so special, and I wasn't so sure I wanted to know, either.

I wasn't scared of him. I was curious, intrigued, a little creeped out...but not scared.

Tentatively, I risked a bold move and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, looking at him from the corner of my eye. He was staring straight ahead. Was he even _breathing?_

I sighed, and he stiffened.

So did I.

Crap. Why did everything I do cause such a bad reaction from him? Am I _that_ repulsive?

The bell rang, suddenly, and I was so relieved. I couldn't wait to leave and-

Getting up too quick, I dropped everything I had been holding - my textbook, pen, notebook - dropped to the ground as I stumbled over my own feet. Cursing my own clumsiness, I bent down and started to pick up my things.

I felt another presence near me and I glanced up, only to meet beautiful eyes that took my breath away. I gasped softly. It was _him_. He was holding my book, but I didn't care about that.

It was like time had stopped, and it was something I had never felt before. I couldn't look away for anything in the world, and the feeling even remained as he glanced down at his hands holding my book, breaking our staring contest. I slowly took the book from his hands, and he stood up, looking at me the whole time.

I stood up, realizing how short I was standing next to him. I could smell him - it was _amazing_ - and I knew that we were too close.

Then, he did something completely unexpected.

He smiled at me.

A beautiful, wonderful crooked smile that made my heart beat faster, and I stopped breathing. Any current thought processes I had were gone...everything just went blank.

Without another word, he turned and walked away, still smiling.

I could still smell him, see his smile. My heart was still beating fast, and it was a huge struggle for me to regain any thoughts I had before the incident. I took a deep breath.

My point of view on Edward Cullen was completely different now, that was for sure.

**Eh, I'm not sure what that was. I don't know if it was good or not. Uhm, please review?**

**by the way: this is supposed to be short. don't bitch at me because of the length, okay? IT'S A DRABBLE.**


	2. Maybe

**I don't know why I decided to turn this into a series of drabbles. Maybe it's because I've never done anything like that before, or maybe just because I WANTED TO.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the book, anything. Just the plot. **

**_Maybe_**

**--**

It was a thought that was always on my mind, but one I didn't really care for.

Edward and I didn't exactly belong together, according to the rules of fate and the huge age difference between us. But it always felt like we really _did_ belong together, like none of that ever mattered. And it really didn't, at least not to me.

But what about Rosalie and Emmett, did they belong together? Alice and Jasper? Esme and Carlisle?

Just because two people grow up in the same time period (such as Charlie and Renee, but look how _they _worked out), doesn't mean they necessarily _belong_ together.

In this situation, I tended to look at the brighter side. Maybe Edward was turned into a vampire and I was brought to Forks so we could meet and fall in love. Maybe it _was_ supposed to be this way. Maybe we were brought together for a reason, that we were defying fate like I sometimes thought. Maybe we were following it.

And sometimes, I thought about the possibility of Jacob and I, and how it could've happened. Is it possible that fate gives us a choice? That their is more than one plan for us, and we just have to follow whatever path we think is right?

And I _don't_ know if the path I chose (which is obviously being a vampire and staying with Edward) is the "right" one, but it sure feels like it is.

And now, that I've changed, to be just like him, I'm sure that if there really was a choice at all, I wouldn't have changed anything.

--

**Yay for shortness, right? Please review!**


	3. Eternity

Secretly, I liked it.

I wouldn't admit it to myself at first. But eventually, I would catch myself admiring my left hand, making up strange fantasies in my mind about _marriage_ and _eternity_ and _vows_ and _weddings_, and I realized that this was just one step that I not only had to take, but it was one that I _wanted_ to take.

In the beginning, I looked at only one goal: becoming a vampire like him, so I wouldn't have to deal with having to be protected all the time. Not feeling like a helpless baby anymore. So I could _stand up_ to any danger that came along, and I wouldn't have to hide behind anyone. I didn't want to feel incompetent around him and his family anymore.

And soon, they would be _my_ family.

And marriage couldn't be _that_ bad - Rosalie and Emmett were married, Alice and Jasper had done, and so had Carlisle and Esme. No, my parents hadn't worked out in the end, but I had more than enough proof to know that Edward and I wouldn't ever end that way. What we had was so much different, in so many ways.

And I didn't mind the fact that we couldn't have kids - yes, I _had_ thought about that. I've done my fair share of babysitting to realize that I wouldn't be very good at handling kids anyways. I could live my life without having kids.

I've seen the look on Edward's face whenever he's looking at me. I'm not a mind reader like he is, but I don't need to know what he's thinking to know that he's happy that we're getting married. Sometimes I catch him looking at my hand like I have, and it makes me smile.

I can't wait to see the look on his face when I walk up the aisle - which is sooner than I can imagine. Thinking about that seems to make all my worries and doubts disappear, knowing that afterwards, I'll be just like him.

For eternity.

And now, as I continued to admire the shiny ring on my left hand, I knew that getting married (even at such a young age) wouldn't be so bad after all.

--

**Review, please!**


	4. Last Dream

_"Choose me, Bella. It's either me or him. You can choose to be _just like him_, or you can be with me. Make your choice." _

_Why was everything so unclear? I stared into dark, serious eyes and felt uneasy and sick. I knew I had to make my choice, but what would it be?_

_The vampire, or the werewolf? _

_I shook my head. "I...I don't know, Jacob." _

_He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to control himself. When he opened them again, his expression was harder and his fists were clenched. "Bella-"_

_"Why are you making me do this?!" I was angry now. He had no right to make me choose!_

_"You can't just have both of us. I'm not willing to share, and he isn't either." He reasoned. When did he become so logical? _

_I struggled to straighten out my thoughts, thinking of the pros and cons of both men. And for some reason, I had a feeling that a decision so simple sounding, shouldn't be _this_ hard. If I truly, really loved Edward, why didn't I just leave Jacob? Why was the prospect of me becoming a vampire suddenly so far-fetched and crazy? Isn't that what I wanted in the first place? I was so confused. _

_"Choose me, Bella." Jacob repeated. "Just _pick_ me." He looked so pained then. _

_I don't know what made me do it - maybe the sound of his voice, the look on his face, the comforting warmth of his arms, unlike Edward's freezing coldness - I nodded silently, and I could feel a tear running down my cheek. _

_"Okay."_

I awoke with a strangled sob, sitting straight up in bed fearfully.

Just a dream. It was just a dream.

Edward, who had been laying beside me, had his arms wrapped around me, stroking my hair and humming my lullaby. He kissed away the tears on my cheeks.

"What did you dream about?" He asked softly.

I drew in a shaky breath, throwing my arms around his neck carefully. "Oh, just me. And Jacob...and you."

That was obviously enough of an explanation for him, because he just nodded and laid me back down gently. He laid next to me, still humming my lullaby softly.

And as I was drifting off to sleep again - but it was almost morning - and I thought how ironic it was, that the day before I become a vampire, I have my last dream about the one thing I had been avoiding in my dreams _and_ my thoughts:

About choosing Jacob over Edward.

* * *

**Review!**


	5. Masochist

In the back of his mind, Jacob always knew that things would never turn out the way he wanted them to.

He was in love with her - crazy, madly in love with her - and even though she had claimed that she was in love with him, too, he knew that it just wasn't that simple. He had tried _so_ hard to make himself believe that was The One, to imprint on her, but he couldn't.

And that wasn't the worst of his problems anyways - there was always _him_. Even when Jacob had thought he was completely out of the picture, that he could have Bella all to himself, she just had to throw herself off a cliff and the chain of events that took place afterwards had changed his entire plan.

He knew things would _not_ turn out in his favor when the bloodsucker came back - for good, unfortunately. He knew that he had lost, and in a fit of rage he had done the childish act of turning the motorcycles and her freedom over to Charlie, but even that hadn't kept them apart in the end. Maybe the bloodsucker was in love with her as much as he was - but if that were really true, why had he left?

He also knew he had gotten the bad end of the deal - he had protected Bella because he wanted to, because he loved her. He hadn't kept Victoria away, he hadn't killed Laurent, he hadn't picked Bella up and put her back together for Edward's sake. He had done it for _her_, and now she was leaving him, to be a bloodsucker herself.

He didn't know what had made him even go to the damned wedding in the first place - just because he had been given an invitation, that didn't mean he was _welcome_ there. So he sat in the very back, far away (but just not far enough) from the bloodsuckers, close enough to see the vivid and happy expression on Bella's face, the love in her eyes as she stared at her fiancee. Close enough to see how beautiful she was in her dress, how happy Edward looked when she walked with Charlie up the aisle. The bloodsucker didn't deserve her, not one bit.

But then again, neither of them did. Two monsters and one angel. A dangerous mix, indeed.

He watched as they exchanged vows, smiles, rings, a few tears from Bella's part. He watched as they kissed the first kiss as husband and wife, and he saw how the bloodsucker whispered in her ear and how she laughed and smiled like she couldn't be happier.

And when they walked down the aisle together, all laughs and smiles, holding hands, he saw the way her blissful expression faltered just a little bit when she spotted him, the look in her eyes suddenly sad and regretful. He was most certainly sure that she could see the own pain in his eyes, too. For just a moment, time had stopped for the both of them, but only for a moment.

And then she looked away, looking to her beloved, the happy expression returning.

No one had noticed the difference in her attitude for that one moment, or the exchange between two strangers that could never be and two friends that never were in the first place.

And that's how it was meant to be.

--

**I'm an avid Bella/Edward shipper, but I love Jacob. I put my **_**whole**_** heart into this, so PLEASE review.**


	6. Blame part one

He had promised that it would be like he had never existed.

But that was a _lie_- the biggest, worst like I had ever heard. Whe he left, it felt like he had reached through my chest, pulled out my heart and took it with him (wherever he went), leaving me open and bleeding, in terrible agony and completely miserable.

And the worst part? I had to live in Forks, where I was afraid to leave the memories of what had been and what could have been behind, but wanting to leave because all I could see, all I could feel, all I could ream about was _him_, and it pained me. I wanted to be whole and happy and free again, to be with him again.

I had believed everything he had said to me, how he loved me, how I was his _everything_, how he couldn't exist without me. And then how he didn't want me anymore, he how no longer loved me.

Why did he think it was fair, to do this to me?

Whenever I had become too numb to even cry or move, I had gotten angry, my thoughts swirling around the fact that I just didn't really feel like I deserved such bad treatment. And then, I stopped myself. It wasn't Edward's fault. It wasn't anyone's fault except my own, and there was no reason to be angry with someone who didn't care for me anymore.

To be angry with someone who wasn't even around.

--

**I should call this, "Bucket Full of Angsty-ness." -smiles- Review?**


	7. Sorry

Sorry.

I hated that word, and with a passion. People seemed to think that after they said sorry than everything would be just perfect. That you would be fine and happy after they apologized. As if your feelings could just disappear, and your broken heart could be mended by one word that didn't have much of a meaning to it anyways.

The pain I had felt during Edward's absence couldn't have been wished away, at all. I could only temporarily forget it, pretend it wasn't there, or that it had never happened. The only way I could get relief was if Edward was there with me, right beside me, always. Only then could I feel whole again. It never felt like the pain had never been there, it was just pushed back into the back of mind, waiting for the chance to reappear if he ever left again.

But he never would. Some people thought I was crazy; because I had left Edward back into my life so easily, without making him beg or grovel for my love again. But that was the problem…I had always loved him. He didn't need to beg for something that he had never lost.

And the remembrance of the agony I had experienced when Edward left would always be there, lurking, threatening me with nightmares from the past.

True, it wouldn't go away with a simple "sorry."

But as long as he was with me, he wouldn't have to say it ever again.


	8. Silence

I wrapped my arms around Bella gently - knowing in the back of my mind that one wrong movement could be the end of her life - and brought her closer to me, hearing her sharp intake of breath, and I felt her lithe arm sneak under mine and settling itself over my waist.

I smiled and burrowed my nose in her mahogany locks, breathing deep. Sometimes, if I really thought about it, I realized that the self-control I had gained by just being around Bella was truly amazing.

I ran my hand down her spine lightly before settling my hand on the small of her back. I could feel her addicting warmth, even through the thick layer of blankets.

I was incredibly selfish, for wanting to take the life and soul of this angel. And yet, a very small part of me was secretly glad that Bella was going to be changed…I would no longer have to practice such strong self-control around her, and we could do the things that most couples did after they got married. Just a few days now…and Bella would be just like me.

I kissed her forehead, skimming my nose down the side of her face and leaving a trail of kisses along her jaw line. I could feel Bella smiling in her sleep; her face was buried in the crook of my neck.

I knew this would be the biggest thing I would miss about the Human Bella; her sleeping and me just laying with her, enjoying the silence (except for her sleep-talking, of course) and spending time with my angel without interruptions or unnecessary conversation.

At least I knew that even when she changed (but the thought still made me cringe), I wouldn't be able to hear her thoughts. It frustrated me to no end, to not to hear what she was thinking at all times, but at the same time, it was nice to enjoy the quiet for once.

I would still have the silence.


End file.
